Empty Nesting 101 by OlaRonke Uhura Akinmowo

Empty Nesting 101

wake up early as always,
somewhere between 4.30 and 5.30 to be exact.
But take it easy, you don’t have to hop out of bed right away.
Now is the perfect time to make lounging in bed your new hobby.
Do not scroll your phone
Reeeeeeelax, enjoy the fresh beauty of a new day.
Breathe it in.
Do not scroll your phone.

When you do get up, make sure you do some type of soul searching spirit healing type ish like
yoga
or meditation
or morning pages
or daydreaming
You could also rewatch your favorite episodes of Golden Girls.

Whatever you do, do not scroll your phone.

Instead,
make yourself a blueberry mango banana spinach smoothie with dates and coconut,
or pleasure yourself in a way that feels really luxurious and deep
or smoke something bomb stinky skunky and green,
or cut up some beautiful paper into a stack of perfect complicated shapes.

You can actually do all of those things, in that order.
Since cutting paper is your favorite, it makes sense to save this for last.

You can choose a “Song Of The Day”, turn the volume up and dance until you’re sweaty, it’s important to pick a song that you know the words to - so that you can sing along, try not to dance too intensely so the downstairs neighbors won’t complain. Haters.

Here's the thing, your mornings are your own now, your time belongs to you.
You don’t have to wake anyone up, get them dressed, fed, and out the door by a certain time.
You don’t have to be empathic, patient, encouraging, responsible, nurturing, or kind.
You don’t have to talk or listen.
There is no need to cook a meal, make a snack, cut up fruit, pour a beverage.

There is no need to feign happiness or interest in anything.
There are no teaching moments or tense misunderstandings (to obsess over).
There is no one to blame or use as an excuse for your lateness, lack of focus or unproductivity.

Now would be the perfect time to
learn an instrument,
tackle a long-term life-improvement project,
fall in love,
or sleep.

Now is the time to literally do whatever you want -
even if it means feeling lonely, sad, or scared
around this understanding that the work of your life has changed
now that you have no one to take care of each and every morning
besides yourself.

OlaRonke Uhura Akinmowo is an interdisciplinary artist, set decorator, yoga teacher, and mom. She is also the Creator & Director of The Free Black Women’s Library, a social art project that centers and celebrates the art, writing & lives of Black women. Her writing practice began in the summer of 2020, to read more of her work, take her yoga classes, and/or support the library, join her Patreon community at www.Patreon.com/TFBWL.
Follow her on Instagram @thefreeblackwomenslibrary